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Why Do I Need to Be in Control?
Karen Hemmings • 24 August 2021
10 signs that healthy control is turning to anxiety.
Being a good organiser, a professional, wanting to be good at what you do, and being a manager of your own life are all great and healthy attributes. But when you start to feel anxious if things aren’t going exactly to plan and that anxiety becomes constant if you are not in control, then it may be time to reflect on the escalation and see what you can do to reduce your stress and anxiety.
Here are 10 signs that healthy control is turning to anxiety:
1. If your need for being in constant control is stopping you from enjoying life to the full.
2. If you always have to know in advance what you are doing, where, how, what you are wearing, how you will get there and can’t rest until all things are planned meticulously.
3. If you are compelled to take control of any situation you are in.
4. If you feel anxious if your partner or friend is doing something and you can’t take over, then criticise others work or re-do their efforts your way.
5. If you feel okay as long as you are organising, but anxious doing things others have planned.
6. If you over-worry that something you have planned may not live up to expectations.
7. If you lie awake at night running plans over and over in your mind.
8. If you see yourself as a perfectionist.
9. If you need to work to your own schedule and get frustrated if others don’t want to meet your imposed expectations.
10. If the thought of letting go of control makes you feel that you may fall apart.
You may have found your need for control started due to something bad happening to you, or it could just as easily have been that you have succeeded in something by having a plan, or a format that worked, but then unconsciously you have embedded the memory and it has become an exaggerted, conditioned response for you to be more and more in control.
How Does Hypnotherapy Help Anxiety?
Hypnotherapy works by addressing the subconscious mind - the part of the mind that stores beliefs, memories, emotions, habits, values and protective reactions. Whilst in trance, strategies and healthy thought processes are introduced to help you overcome your need to be in constant control, resulting in feelings of anxiety and this helps you to get the balance back in your life. Sessions can be recorded and listed to again, which helps embed the new positive strategies, enabling you to get on with enjoying life once again.
Hypnotherapy is a process agreed between a therapist and a client, during which you will feel safe and relaxed. It is very much like that state of relaxation before dropping off to sleep. Although it is rare that anyone would chose to open their eyes, you are always able to at any point if you would like to, because you do have personal control. I would not you to do anything unethical and you would never do anything against your personal values and beliefs.
If you would like to read clients' experiences of sessions with me, then please head over to Testimonial and Reviews
page, and if you would like to find out more about how hypnotherapy can help to relieve your anxiety and live the life you would like to enjoy, then please get in touch. I offer a complimentary 30 minute telephone consultation.
The Healing Mind provides a range of Counselling and Hypnotherapy services in Gnosall, Stafford, as well as Reiki, Emotional Freedom Therapy (EFT) and Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP).
As we approach World Mental Health Day on October 10th, it's essential to remember that caring for your mental well-being is just as important as your physical health. Mental fitness is about cultivating a healthy, balanced mindset that empowers you to handle life's challenges. This year, the 2024 World Mental Health Day theme is focusing on mental health in the workplace. With increasing demands, deadlines, and pressures in the modern work environment, it's more important than ever to take steps to protect and nurture your mental well-being at work. Whether you're experiencing stress, burnout, or difficulty balancing personal and professional life, this is a reminder that you're not alone—and it's okay to seek help. How You Can Help Yourself: 1. Set Personal Boundaries : Be aware of your own needs and know when to switch off from work and prioritise time for yourself. 2. Practice Self-Care : Regular breaks, go for a walk instead of working your breaks, mindfulness, and engaging in activities that relax you can improve mental fitness. 3. Reach Out for Support : Sometimes, overcoming workplace stress requires professional guidance. Counselling, clinical hypnotherapy, and emotional freedom therapy and other talking therapies can provide tools to manage stress, anxiety, and emotional challenges that arise in work settings. This World Mental Health Day, prioritize your mental fitness. If you've been feeling overwhelmed, this is the perfect time to take the first step towards healing, reaching out for support can transform your journey. I'm here to help you unlock your full potential and achieve lasting emotional well-being. If you would like to find out more about how therapies could help you , then you can book a free 30-minute telephone consultation at a time that suits you here, or alternatively please email karen@thehealingmind.co.uk .
Andropause, often referred to as male menopause, is a phase in a man’s life where testosterone levels gradually decline, typically starting in the late 40s to early 50s. While the physical symptoms—such as fatigue, reduced libido, and weight gain—are widely recognised, the mental health implications of andropause are equally significant but less often discussed. The hormonal changes during andropause can lead to a range of emotional and psychological challenges. Men may experience mood swings, irritability, anxiety, and depression. The reduced levels of testosterone can also impact cognitive function, leading to memory issues and difficulty concentrating. These changes can be particularly distressing, especially when they are not well understood or if they are mistakenly attributed to other factors, such as work stress or aging. Counselling can play a crucial role in helping men navigate the mental health challenges associated with andropause. Through therapy, you can gain a better understanding of what is happening to your bodies and minds, reducing the stigma and fear often associated with these changes. Counselling provides a safe space to express and explore these feelings, leading to greater self-awareness and acceptance. As a counsellor, I can assist you in developing coping strategies to manage stress, anxiety, and depression and address negative thought patterns. I can support you in implementing healthy lifestyle changes, such as improved diet, regular exercise, and stress management techniques, which can positively impact both physical and mental well-being during this transition. While andropause is a natural phase of life, if you have found it has brought about significant mental health challenges and you are wondering if counselling can offer you valuable support, helping you to maintain your mental fitness and emotional balance during this time of change, then please get in touch for a free 30-minute telephone consultation.
Each of us is a unique individual with distinct experiences, challenges, and paths to well-being. Understanding this uniqueness is essential when seeking mental health support, as different therapies resonate with different people. I offer a range of services, including counselling, hypnotherapy, emotional freedom therapy, and Reiki Healing, to cater to various needs and preferences. Counselling provides a safe space to explore thoughts and feelings, offering clarity and strategies for managing life's challenges. It is ideal for those who benefit from talking through their issues with a trained professional who can offer insights and coping mechanisms. Hypnotherapy taps into the subconscious mind to address deep-seated issues and alter negative patterns of thought and behaviour. This method is particularly effective for clients who are open to exploring their inner mind and harnessing the power of suggestion to facilitate change. Emotional Freedom Therapy focuses on processing and releasing pent-up emotions, stresses and traumas that can hinder personal growth. This approach is suited for individuals who recognise the impact of unresolved emotional pain and are ready to confront and heal these feelings. Reiki Healing, an energy-based practice, promotes relaxation and reduces stress through gentle touch. This therapy is perfect for those who seek a holistic approach to mental health, valuing the interconnectedness of mind, body, and spirit. During therapy you are encouraged to choose the therapy that best aligns with your personal preferences and needs. Some people may find a single approach sufficient, while others may benefit from a combination of therapies to achieve holistic well-being. By acknowledging your unique differences, you can each find a path to mental health that truly resonates with you. If you would like to find out more about how therapies could help you , then you can book a free 30-minute telephone consultation at a time that suits you here.
Why Do People Procrastinate? As a counsellor, I often see clients struggling with procrastination. It’s a common challenge that affects productivity and well-being. If you’re reading this, you might be seeking answers and solutions to overcome this habit. Understanding why we procrastinate is the first step toward change. Three significant factors often at play are perfectionism, fear of failure and fear of rejection. Perfectionism involves setting excessively high standards for yourself, leading to an all-or-nothing mindset. You might delay starting tasks because you fear you cannot complete them perfectly. This fear of not meeting your own or others’ expectations can paralyse you, causing avoidance of tasks altogether. The desire to produce flawless work and homelife creates immense pressure, making it difficult to begin or finish projects. Fear of failure and fear or rejection are other critical components. Many people procrastinate because they dread the possibility of failing or receiving negative feedback. This fear can stem from past experiences of being overly criticised, or if doing something wrong led to criticism or disappointment. The anxiety associated with rejection can be so overwhelming that procrastination becomes a coping mechanism, providing temporary relief from stress. How Counselling Can Help I provide a supportive, non-judgmental environment where you can explore underlying fears and perfectionistic tendencies which will empower you to find solutions, foster self-awareness, self-acceptance, and effective action. I can help you to navigate setting realistic goals, break tasks into manageable steps, and develop a more compassionate self-view. This shift can reduce the pressure to achieve perfection and make it easier to start and complete tasks. I understand how challenging procrastination can be, but with the right support and tools, it is possible to break free from this cycle. If you would like to work together to understand and overcome procrastination, leading to increased productivity and improved mental health, then please get in touch.
The top picture is me, on a day off jumping out of an aeroplane to raise money for a local hospice. Normally I’d be helping clients to achieve their goals in life, whatever they may be. You too can unlock the power within you through person-centred counselling, it’s a transformative approach designed to help you achieve true happiness and self-fulfilment which places you at the heart of the therapeutic process, recognising your innate ability to understand and resolve challenges best. Imagine having the freedom to navigate your own journey to happiness. As designer Diane von Furstenberg wisely said, "You are the one that possesses the keys to your being. You carry the passport to your own happiness." With person-centred counselling, this powerful insight becomes your reality. You will uncover the strength within you to create meaningful changes and achieve profound self-acceptance. I support people with several transformational therapies including counselling, hypnotherapy and emotional freedom therapy, where I provide a understanding, empathetic, and non-judgmental environment so you can explore your thoughts and feelings freely. This safe space empowers you to discover your own solutions and paths to personal and career or business growth, fostering a sense of autonomy and self-direction. Imagine having the freedom to navigate your own journey to happiness, where carrying the passport to your own happiness becomes your reality. I will be by your side so you can uncover the strength within you to create meaningful changes and self-acceptance. If you would like to take the first step towards a brighter, more fulfilling future and unlock the true potential within you, then you can book a free 30-minute telephone consultation at a time that suits you here.
Many people struggle with feelings of low self-worth for a variety of reasons. Past traumas, negative experiences, and critical self-talk can all play a part. Childhood experiences, such as neglect or harsh criticism, can leave lasting scars on self-esteem. Social pressures and constant comparisons, especially in the age of social media, often make people feel inadequate. Additionally, societal standards of success and beauty can create unrealistic expectations, leading to a persistent sense of not being "good enough." These feelings can hold us back from achieving our full potential and finding true happiness. In counselling I offer a supportive space to explore your thoughts and feelings to help you to identify and challenge negative self-perceptions and unhelpful thinking patterns. Working in whatever way feels best for you, I can support you to replace negative thoughts with more realistic and positive ones. Over time, this shift in perspective will help you to enhance self-worth and encourage a more compassionate view of yourself. Hypnotherapy uses guided relaxation and focused attention to reach the subconscious mind, where negative beliefs can be reframed, and positive affirmations can take root. This process, where you are always in control, helps to break the cycle of self-doubt, fostering a deep and lasting sense of confidence. I can guide you through visualising successful outcomes, reinforcing your ability to achieve goals and handle challenges, which in turn boosts self-esteem. Both hypnotherapy and counselling provide safe, personalised approaches tailored to your needs (you can choose both or either therapy). They help uncover underlying issues, process past traumas, and develop effective coping strategies. By addressing the root causes of low self-esteem and reinforcing positive beliefs, these therapies empower you to believe in yourself, embrace your potential, and lead more a fulfilling life. If you would like a free 30-minute telephone consultation to find out more about how you can start to believe in yourself, then please click the button below, or give me a call on 07939 865111.
Whether you play sport or run for fun, or you are a super-competitive sportsperson, in sport it's crucial to care for the mind as meticulously as the body. Hypnotherapy and Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) can significantly enhance sports performance by optimising your mental state. Hypnotherapy can help you enter a deeply relaxed state, allowing you to visualize success, reinforce positive habits, and reduce anxiety. This mental conditioning fosters confidence, concentration, and resilience under pressure. NLP techniques reprogramme the mind's responses to various stimuli. By changing negative thought patterns and reinforcing positive ones, you can overcome mental blocks, enhance motivation, and improve focus. Techniques such as anchoring (associating a specific stimulus with a positive mental state) and visualisation can create a more consistent and peak performance mindset. Combining these methods can help harness the power of your subconscious mind, leading to improved performance, better stress management, and enhanced overall well-being. You probably know that by integrating mental training into their routines, professional athletes achieve a harmonious balance, ensuring their mind and body work in unison for optimal performance. This holistic approach boosts physical capabilities while fostering mental clarity and emotional stability, essential for maintaining peak performance and achieving long-term success in sports. You may not know that it is available to you too, so you would like to find out more and experience growth in your performance, then please get in touch.
Reiki is a Japanese form of energy healing which offers numerous benefits for overall wellbeing. By channelling universal life force energy through the practitioner's hands, Reiki promotes relaxation, reduces stress, and alleviates anxiety. It enhances the body's natural healing abilities, aiding in pain management and accelerating recovery from illnesses and surgeries. Reiki also balances emotional and mental health, fostering a sense of peace, clarity, and emotional stability. Regular sessions can improve sleep quality, boost immune function, and increase overall vitality. Because Reiki's has a non-invasive nature, it makes it suitable for all ages and conditions, providing a gentle, holistic approach to health. This ancient practice supports personal growth and spiritual development, helping clients to connect with their inner selves and cultivate a positive mindset. Overall, Reiki offers a comprehensive, integrative method to enhance physical, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing. If you would like to book a Reiki appointment, you can click the button below and book at an available date and time that suits you best. Or if you would like to find out more, then please get in touch.
Sometimes we can be feeling all the sadness and emotions of loss and grief, and not understand why. But in addition to the grief of losing a loved one through death, dementia, illness, divorce or separation, loss is felt in so many ways and each one can deeply affect us, for example, loss of our health or independence, employment and financial loss, loss of identity, purpose or your life’s dream, loss of friendship and empty-nest syndrome. As a counsellor, I can help you navigate the complex emotions and challenges associated with loss by providing a safe, non-judgmental space where you can express grief, sadness, anger, and other emotions. This validation can help you feel understood and less isolated, knowing that your feelings are acknowledged and normal. We can explore coping mechanisms to manage the intense emotions and stress associated with loss and learning these skills, can help support you to better handle the waves of emotions that often accompany significant losses. It is important to understand that your feelings are a normal part of the grieving process so together we can navigate and demystify grief and reduce your feelings of confusion or abnormality. This knowledge can be comforting and empowering. Loss often impacts our sense of self and purpose, and when it is right for you, I can assist you in finding meaning in life after your loss, to identify your strengths, to build resilience and foster a sense of hope and adaptability, so you can begin to create a future that, while different, can still be meaningful. If you would like to find out more about how I could help you to reduce worry, anxiety, or stress, then please get in touch. I offer a 30 minute complimentary telephone consultation, which you can book here at a time that suits you.
Photos by Majestic Lucaz and Caroline Veronez on Unsplash In today's fast-paced world, it's easy to feel invisible and unheard, where your presence and voice seem to fade into the background. This sense of invisibility can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness, affecting your mental and emotional well-being. However, counselling offers a beacon of hope, providing a safe space where you feel seen, heard, and understood. This transformative process can profoundly impact your life, fostering recognition and understanding. Counselling creates an environment of empathy and support, where you are encouraged to express your thoughts and emotions freely. As a trained counsellor I listen attentively, validating your experiences and helping you navigate through your feelings. This validation is crucial as it acknowledges your struggles and triumphs, making you feel valued and important. The act of being heard can be incredibly therapeutic, alleviating feelings of isolation and fostering a sense of connection. One of the significant benefits of counselling is the development of self-awareness. Through guided conversations, we can explore your thoughts and emotions in a non-judgmental setting. This exploration helps you gain insights into your patterns and triggers, empowering you to make positive changes. Understanding yourself better can lead to improved self-esteem and confidence, as you recognize your strengths and work on your challenges. Additionally, counselling provides practical tools and strategies to cope with life's difficulties. Whether dealing with stress, anxiety, depression, or relationship issues, I can offer you techniques to manage these challenges effectively. Learning coping mechanisms can reduce the feeling of being overwhelmed, making it easier to navigate daily life. Counselling also promotes personal growth and development. Working towards your goals, can help you achieve a sense of accomplishment and purpose, fostering resilience and motivation, encouraging you to strive for a fulfilling and balanced life. Counselling can be a powerful tool that helps you feel seen and heard, transforming feelings of invisibility into recognition, understanding and confidence. It fosters self-awareness, provides coping strategies, and promotes personal growth, leading to a more fulfilling and connected life. If you ever feel invisible or unheard, consider reaching out to me, you can book a free 30-minute telephone consultation by clicking the button below. It could be the first step towards feeling valued and understood.